Fighting to find myself was a chore. I had to peel layers, and FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT… I also had to get in shape with my mind, body, and spirit. I have uncovered these values are at the root of the REAL me.
Consider that THIS LIST is what I discover that I embody, not “want”. These things are true for my purest and authentic self. Until I see that I embody these values, they are not here.
- Love Without Limits – I love deeply and truly, giving fully of myself without reservation or fear.
- Speak the Truth – I commit to being honest and transparent, no matter the cost, to ensure clarity in all my relationships.
- Voice What Matters – I openly share my needs, understanding that clear communication fosters trust and connection.
- Serve Where You Stand – I am mindful of others’ needs and seek help wherever possible without overextending myself.
- Stay Present, Always – I practice mindfulness in every moment, ensuring I fully engage with what’s before me.
- Move Boldly – I refuse to act out of fear, stepping confidently into every situation with courage and conviction.
- Act by Will, Not Guilt – I am not swayed by guilt or shame; I make decisions based on my true convictions and integrity.
- Feed the Core – I prioritize my mental and physical well-being, taking time to nourish my mind and body.
- Pour into the Few – I invest deeply in those I care about, ensuring my relationships are nurtured and sustained.
- Guard Your Yes – I maintain healthy boundaries, being available to others but also saying no when necessary.
- Shield What Matters – I protect those I care about in every realm, guarding what is valuable with wisdom and strength.
- Frame the Path – I provide direction and structure in my life and for those around me, ensuring clarity of vision and purpose.
- Clear the Fog – I work toward clarity in every situation, cutting through confusion to find the truth.
- Walk in Wisdom – I live with understanding, seeking to apply knowledge and insight to every aspect of my life.
- Listen Deeply – I seek to understand others before I speak, knowing that true wisdom begins with listening.
- Chase the Truth – I continually pursue knowledge and am eager to learn and grow in every area of life.
- Build Genuine Bonds – I commit to being intimate and authentic in every true relationship, fostering trust and closeness.
- Savor the Ride – I enjoy the journey, embracing life’s ups and downs with gratitude and joy.
- Never Stop Growing – I am always learning, constantly seeking to expand my understanding and abilities.
- Go First, Show the Way – I lead by example, going ahead and showing others the way through my actions.
- Cling to the Rock – I hold fast to Christ, grounding my life and decisions in faith and trust in Him.
- Guide with Grace – I teach with patience, understanding that growth takes time and requires gentle guidance.
- Root in Humility – I grow deep in humility, always seeking to put others first and remain grounded.
- Be the Gift – I strive to be a blessing to others, offering what I have with an open and generous heart.
- Evict the Elephant – I refuse to let unresolved issues linger; I clear the air and speak what needs to be said, ensuring no elephant stays in the room.
- Fear as Fuel – I turn fear into fuel, using it to propel me forward rather than hold me back.
- Pain is Progress – I recognize that pain is part of growth, and I embrace it as a sign of forward movement.
- Advocate for the Weak and Marginalized – I stand against oppression, seeking to instill reason, love, and dignity in all my actions.
- Strength in Vulnerability – I embrace openness and transparency, knowing that true connection and growth come from allowing myself to be seen.
- Rise After the Fall – I meet every setback with resolve, knowing that resilience shapes the journey forward.
- Choose Joy – I intentionally seek joy in every circumstance, recognizing its power to uplift and renew.
- Play for the Pleasure – I seek to enjoy the blessings of God in life, even when the world around me bites at them.
- Frame in the Grateful – I will not complain and always build with thankfulness.
- Create Boldly in the Open – I build, create, and share my work without apology or fear, allowing my process and progress to inspire and drive productivity.
- Live Authentically – I root my actions in my true identity, embracing honesty and openness without pretense.
- Act with Intention – I make purposeful decisions, ensuring my actions align with my core values and long-term vision.
- Recognize The Road – I live as empathy, knowing that when I feel triggered, indifferent, or frustrated by someone else, they are just as likely to be suffering as I am.
- Hiss and Coo – I will trust without naivety and still expect the best from others. Like the biblical adage to be as wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove; I embody both at once, in truth.
- Virtue My Ass: Patience not Passive – I embrace the reality that I will not ‘tolerate’ entanglement, dishonesty, and lack of accountability for one’s choices. While patience is evident and present in the process, hubris and arrogance pushing the blame toward others will not be tolerated. Much like the “evict the elephant”, this value deals with knuckle headedness when evidence, not assumption, provides clarity on intention, heart, and mind with others.
- Push through Pressure with People: Intentional growth – providing leadership with guaranteed pushback while living authentically. *pending – for others…? Still questioning this.
- ***I am not walking in urgency— pending. – Intention over Urgency, Patience, not Complacent.
When you read through this, consider that it took me two years to not only discover but embody it. The journey was hard and nearly killed me in every way, but it is worth every moment right now as I face the same problems and issues, but they no longer have power over me.
To present my values as a cohesive framework without contradiction, I’ll show how each value serves as a guardrail, allowing them to operate harmoniously. This approach will address potential conflicts directly by demonstrating the boundaries and interactions each value provides. Here’s how these values interact, limit one another, and collectively form a complete picture of authenticity:
1. Love Without Limits
Loving deeply does not imply overextending; here, Guard Your Yes sets a limit, ensuring love remains genuine and sustainable. Shield What Matters reminds us that love is a commitment to protect, not merely a feeling. It creates the boundary that love is best expressed when it also respects personal and relational integrity. This alignment prevents “limitless love” from being confused with boundless self-sacrifice or enabling, establishing it as a conscious, empowering action.
2. Speak the Truth
Honesty is tempered by Guide with Grace, showing that truth should be given patiently and kindly. Walk in Wisdom prevents harshness, framing honesty as constructive rather than harmful. Root in Humility also limits truth-telling by acknowledging one’s fallibility, ensuring that honesty serves understanding and not self-righteousness.
3. Voice What Matters
Communicating one’s needs openly strengthens Build Genuine Bonds, but Shield What Matters ensures this openness does not breach someone else’s boundaries or safety. When voicing needs, Act by Will, Not Guilt keep one’s intentions rooted in integrity rather than coercion or emotional manipulation.
4. Serve Where You Stand
This value meets its boundary in Feed the Core, preventing service from becoming self-neglect. Guard Your Yes ensures one serves genuinely without feeling obliged or overcommitted. Act with Intention supports this by requiring each act of service to align with a long-term vision and purpose, avoiding reactive or guilt-driven responses.
5. Stay Present, Always
Mindfulness is balanced by Frame the Path, which offers the structure to prevent “being present” from devolving into aimlessness. Evict the Elephant serves here as a boundary, affirming that one remains engaged but also addresses issues directly when they arise, ensuring presence is active and purposeful, not passivity.
6. Move Boldly
Courage finds its boundaries in Listen Deeply, reminding us that boldness does not overshadow others’ voices. Fear as Fuel enhances this by using fear constructively rather than allowing boldness to become recklessness. Walk in Wisdom ensures that boldness is tempered by thoughtful, informed action.
7. Act by Will, Not Guilt
Acting without guilt is balanced by Root in Humility, grounding decisions in empathy and self-awareness rather than willful disregard for others. Guide with Grace refines this approach, ensuring actions are considerate, focused on growth, and not solely self-assertion.
8. Feed the Core
Self-care does not negate Serve Where You Stand; instead, they work symbiotically. Self-nourishment empowers one to serve others genuinely. Pour into the Few emphasizes prioritizing intimate relationships, creating a boundary to prevent self-care from becoming self-centered isolation.
9. Pour into the Few
While prioritizing key relationships, Clear the Fog and Build Genuine Bonds ensure clarity and authenticity in these investments. Guard Your Yes prevents over-investment, maintaining the balance that close relationships should be enriching, not all-consuming.
10. Guard Your Yes
This boundary-setting principle is balanced by Love Without Limits, affirming that while one must say “no” to protect energy and values, love remains expansive. Serve Where You Stand tempers this value, reminding us that saying “yes” is equally important where it matters.
11. Shield What Matters
Protection works hand-in-hand with Guide with Grace, ensuring that defending those we care about doesn’t become overbearing or controlling. Move Boldly complements this by affirming the strength needed to shield others courageously, without fear.
12. Frame the Path
Providing direction is harmonized by Walk in Wisdom, affirming that guidance should be grounded in discernment and adaptability. Guide with Grace also sets a limit, ensuring the direction given is nurturing and not rigid or authoritarian.
13. Clear the Fog
Seeking clarity finds its boundary in Stay Present, Always, allowing one to be patient when clarity is not immediate. Chase the Truth reinforces this value, showing clarity as an ongoing pursuit rather than an endpoint.
14. Walk in Wisdom
Wisdom limits Move Boldly, ensuring courage is backed by insight. Recognize the Road tempers wisdom with empathy, acknowledging that others’ struggles are often hidden, fostering understanding rather than judgment.
15. Listen Deeply
Active listening aligns with Voice What Matters, as understanding others encourages authentic self-expression. Root in Humility further grounds listening as an empathetic practice, not simply a strategic one.
16. Chase the Truth
The pursuit of truth is bounded by Be the Snake and the Dove, which fosters discernment, allowing truth-seeking to coexist with cautious trust. Guide with Grace ensures truth-seeking serves others, not simply personal discovery.
17. Build Genuine Bonds
Authentic relationships find balance with Guard Your Yes, ensuring depth without overreach. Strength in Vulnerability deepens this by fostering intimacy that’s both open and secure, creating bonds without compromising one’s boundaries.
18. Savor the Ride
Enjoying life’s journey is balanced by Choose Joy, intentionally focusing on gratitude, making life’s ups and downs a choice rather than passive experience. Pain is Progress reinforces this, acknowledging life’s challenges as part of the journey.
19. Never Stop Growing
Continual growth is harmonized by Act with Intention, which directs growth toward meaningful goals rather than aimless change. Root in Humility further refines this, framing growth as a humble pursuit rather than self-aggrandizement.
20. Go First, Show the Way
Leading by example is refined by Clear the Fog, ensuring one leads with clarity, not just decisiveness. Guide with Grace provides the boundary of gentleness, reminding leaders to lead with patience and care.
21. Cling to the Rock
Faith acts as a foundation, limiting all other values to ensure alignment with a spiritual core. Choose Joy complements this, offering a mindset of gratitude and trust even in uncertainty.
22. Guide with Grace
Guiding others is refined by Evict the Elephant, affirming that graceful guidance includes addressing issues openly and honestly. Root in Humility reminds one to lead without pride.
23. Root in Humility
Humility anchors Move Boldly by keeping bold actions grounded in service. Feed the Core ensures humility doesn’t lead to self-neglect, affirming that humility includes caring for oneself as well as others.
24. Be the Gift
Generosity is refined by Guard Your Yes, ensuring giving is genuine, not obligatory. Feed the Core affirms that generosity should stem from a place of fullness, not self-depletion.
25. Evict the Elephant
This value is limited by Guide with Grace, showing that addressing issues should be done with patience and sensitivity. Listen Deeply refines this by encouraging understanding before speaking.
26. Fear as Fuel
Turning fear into motivation is balanced by Walk in Wisdom, preventing fear from becoming reckless boldness. Strength in Vulnerability acknowledges fear’s role without masking it, fostering resilience.
27. Pain is Progress
Embracing pain as growth finds balance in Feed the Core, ensuring self-care even in hardship. Choose Joy reinforces this by affirming growth while recognizing joy in the journey.
28. Advocate for the Weak and Marginalized
Advocacy is bounded by Be the Snake and the Dove, preventing naivety in fighting oppression. Walk in Wisdom ensures advocacy is informed, not reactive.
29. Strength in Vulnerability
Openness aligns with Shield What Matters, ensuring vulnerability doesn’t compromise safety. Walk in Wisdom provides balance, making vulnerability strategic, not indiscriminate.
30. Rise After the Fall
Resilience is tempered by Act with Intention, showing that recovery serves a purpose. Feed the Core affirms self-care as essential in rebuilding after setbacks.
31. Choose Joy
Joy as a choice is harmonized by Frame in the Grateful, affirming gratitude as its root. Pain is Progress allows joy to coexist with growth, even in hardship.
32. Play for the Pleasure
Seeking enjoyment aligns with Frame the Path, ensuring pleasure doesn’t lead to distraction. Stay Present, Always grounds enjoyment in mindfulness.
33. Frame in the Grateful
Gratitude shapes Act by Will, Not Guilt, encouraging decisions grounded in thanks, not duty. Choose Joy affirms gratitude as an intentional practice.
34. Create Boldly in the Open
Creativity is bounded by Move Boldly, balancing openness with courage. Act by Will, Not Guilt reminds us that creation is an act of will, not fear of judgment.
35. Live Authentically
Authenticity aligns with Recognize the Road, fostering empathy by rooting in one’s identity while acknowledging others’ struggles. Stay Present, Always ensures authenticity is mindful.
36. Act with Intention
Purposeful action is bounded by Feed the Core, ensuring intentionality doesn’t lead to burnout. Guide with Grace affirms that intention includes gentleness.
37. Recognize The Road
Empathy aligns with Listen Deeply, creating understanding without judgment. Evict the Elephant encourages direct engagement when empathy reveals misunderstandings.
38. Be the Snake and the Dove
Trust with discernment aligns with Shielding What Matters, ensuring caution where necessary. Stay Present, always keeping trust and awareness grounded in the moment.
In each of these interactions, the values reinforce one another without contradiction. They serve as layers, where each value provides a boundary or support for the next, creating a balanced approach to authentic living. This structure demonstrates that values rooted in integrity and awareness don’t conflict; instead, they form a multidimensional whole, guiding each action and relationship.
I share these openly with anyone as I coach and guide individuals daily with discovering their true identity so that they may live freely, untethered from outward voices and inner lies. Feel free if you’ve received these from somewhere to reach out to me if you want to talk or learn more.