I write about living well.
Well, I write about living.
Life often isn’t well.
Life is often not worth living well.
No matter how I parse this, the truth is that I am unable to find consistency in self-expression without some internal/external power pulling or pushing me against the tides of my own chaos.
Taking the time in the last month to review has given me space and a better feel for my freedom. These few thoughts and links have been eye-opening to reflect on.
This idea causes stress for some folks. So, I will make it clearer.
When I say mystical, I am referring to the experience that elicits a deep sense of awe and profound realization. I could also use the word spiritual, yet that has a more religious context and does not resonate with all people. Mystery, mystical, and magical are my terms when I have an inner voice of inspiration that fosters creativity, insight, self-discovery, or spiritual growth.
As for me, I find my greatest spiritual sense in this request:
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Learning is always on. Like an old VCR clock blinking after a power outage, the mind soaks up everything. How are we perceiving what we take in? Letting my thoughts out through writing helps me look and learn about my looking and learning. This gives me clarity, and from what I can tell, it helps others in the process. If I am not always looking and learning about myself I will become someone else. This is not about finding an identity, but learning that who I am, and who you are, is who you are at every moment in life. Simply, we are and that’s enough.
When I say this I have not stopped writing. On the contrary, I am pursuing a more active writing life and career. To be honest, I am going to pursue writing as a means to my livelihood as well as a vehicle to engage a broader audience for care and investment.
I have learned (am learning) however, that there are elements of writing that I have never known. Personally, I have never written anything out of intuition or from my mind/heart. Being pushed or pulled by external thought, fear, or necessity seemed to be the fuel of my output. That is now dead.
I write what I want to write.
Found in all styles of writing, passions and interests form the body of literature we often consider labors of technical steps instead of inspiration. Three weeks ago during a writing cohort, a five-minute prompt was given. I just started writing.
I did not think.
I wrote more.
The drum of the blood flowed deeply in my soul like the thunderous escape of an underwater river emptying into the depths. I could not breathe, yet I was not dying. I drowned under the intensity of the experience and experienced what I call the “positive side of drowning” letting the ideas flow through me to the page. At the end of this time, I had composed a poem, expressing my own personal views on how I could be encapsulated on a postcard.
What came from me the budding fruit of a long journey, revealed, ripened, and harvested on the page.
I read that unedited work to the group.
It was received. Thus, I was seen and heard.
Writing is something that brings alive and helps bring life to others. Just think about that power. Think about that responsibility. (Think about the Word)
Resting is not only for the spirit. It is also for the mind and body. It is also for the soul.
Resting comes in different forms. There are temporal reprieves. There are momentary vacations. But when we find the connection between our Spiritual freedom and our Earthly self, it’s more than the senses can stand.
Learning to be sensitive over experiencing sensations is a hard discipline. It comes through pain and death. But when we come alive in our writing, we find a new tether to a greater truth. We find our voice and depending on our ultimate hope, we find our message.
Are you listening?
I’ll publish that poem soon. Here’s one that has arrested me over the last 12 weeks:
But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
say continually, “Great is the LORD!”
As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!