Well, if one had to know, I really have never written, just played around with some semi-quasi-halfway syntax and called it writing. The breath of my pen has exhaled with not even a vapor of expression remaining and at the end of this sentence I could stop and hit delete. Seriously, well… more like honestly, I don’t write much anymore because I have more drafts in books, files and on my blog than I actually have published. I look at everything I want to say and think, “I don’t really want to say it and if I did, I want it to be perfect.” To this I confess that I have a pride issue when it comes to writing.
Yes, pride. Not the, “look at my great prose and covet” but more like, “if I don’t get this perfect then I am a loser” pride. Yes, pride is the core reason I have not completed much of the writing that I really would like to publish. Two finished manuscripts, many pamphlets, articles galore and yet I sit here writing about how I don’t want to write. Now as I talk to myself about this issue I have several thoughts that are ringing in my ears that need to be pressed into the pad of this article. Why do I feel this way?
I believe the draw of “interaction” has overtaken the allure of intimacy in writing. Thorough and insightful script seems fruitless in today’s social sphere and if it can’t be said in 140 characters, it probably isn’t worth saying. No one is going to read it anyway.
BACKLASH AND NASTY PEOPLE
There is no more etiquette or politeness any longer among opinions and conversation has been devoured by the cookie monster of “hear me, hear me” to the point that most people with anything useful are fearful of having to deal with all the mess. Even if the comments are off, it doesn’t take the heat away. I especially enjoy the rebukes and wickedness poured over people’s heart-felt testimonies as if anyone ever asks for input in the first place.
YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT
In the end with everything being said, it’s hard to actually have an original thought. In today’s googley circles, nothing is precious and there are some out there that would rather steal words than anything else. Who cares? Well, let’s just say if someone who stands against everything you ever did stole your words then someone else found them in your mouth, you would be quoting them right? Meh.
LEARNING VS LAUGHING VS LOOTING
Writing for the sake of teaching is mainly what I enjoy, but it seems that people would rather laugh or take advantage of a controversy and “loot” the wave to the center of “likes” and “&^%$@#&^!@” listed on their blogs and social pages. Come on, who doesn’t enjoy having 4893 friends that they have never met comment and like what they didn’t even say to begin with but shared what someone else didn’t say about what someone else said about what their other friend who they never met said about what they didn’t hear anyone say. You know?
At the core of it all though is the fear that something is too precious and glorious to waste. That the object at the tip of the pen is so concerning with divinity and the beauty of ineffable majesty that no amount of paper and ink could do it justice. It seems that sometimes it just cannot be said rightly so is it better to not say it at all? I think this is truly where I sit, worrying about whether or not my service to the glory of God and His word, doctrine, et al in my writing is even effectual to the praise of His glorious grace. Is it even going to partner with His purpose to engage the mind of the saints to a greater seeing of His wonder?
You know what? It doesn’t matter. If nothing else, a partnering with God’s great work in small and piece-milled ways will outshine the grandest of debates on the most divisive issues of man. The majesty of Grace will devastate the minds of Americans who work to the end of their fingers to produce yet another wasted effort against the grain of the cross of Jesus Christ. The smallest drop of blood from the Savior is heavier and weightier than the chasm of the cosmos and the doxology of silence in the face of Holiness is louder than the highest gathering of the greatest people for the greatest cause.
So, I desire to write for the glory of God, for an audience beyond my knowledge and sight and to do what I can, if nothing else, to catalogue the Master’s fingerprint of my own heart as I encourage all the saints to do the same. What would happen if the children of God for one season all praised Him in their words? I cannot even imagine.
For His Glory by His Grace,